LAWS WHICH NEWTON FORGOT TO PUBLISH

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start
to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an
engaged tone.

* LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with
grease, your nose will begin to itch.

* LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the
least accessible corner.

* LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat
tire.

* BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone
rings.

* LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

* LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a
machine won't work, it will!

* LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.

* THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the
aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is
cold.