Diary of Arvind Parasharhttp://Brahamasmi.rediffiland.com/Diary of Arvind Parasharen-usLAWS WHICH NEWTON FORGOT TO PUBLISHLAWS WHICH NEWTON FORGOT TO PUBLISH

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start
to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an
engaged tone.

* LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with
grease, your nose will begin to itch.

* LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the
least accessible corner.

* LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat
tire.

* BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone
rings.

* LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

* LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a
machine won't work, it will!

* LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.

* THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the
aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is
cold.

]]>Wed, 16 Jul 2008 00:52:43 +0530http://Brahamasmi.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/07/16/LAWS-WHICH-NEWTON-FORGOT-TO-PUBLISH-1.htmlWhat is.........?1.What is height of Fashion?

Dhoti with a zip

2. What is height of Secrecy?

Offering blank visiting cards

3. What is height of Activelaziness?

Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

4. What is height of Laziness?

Adopting a child.

5. What is height of Craziness?

Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

6. What is height of Forgetfulness?

Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

7. What is height of Stupidity?

A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

8. What is height of Honesty?

A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.9. What is height of Suicide?

A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

10. What is height of De-hydration?

A cow giving milk powder.

11 . What is height of Comparison ?

A man pissing in front of Niagara falls .

]]>Wed, 16 Jul 2008 00:47:47 +0530http://Brahamasmi.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/07/16/What-is.htmlI Have Tagged u....It is a simple game. Im telling u my favorities. Now, I have tagged my 10 friends. They have to tell their favorities & tagged their 10 friends too. So the game is going on & on & on.... but U have to give ur favorities written below. Please give the rules of the game on the top of ur post. Happy Gaming.....!

My Favorities

BOOKS : Sufi Poetry by Bully Shah, Main Borishayla By Mahuya Mazi, Dictionaries of all kinds, Aradhan, Medicinal Plants, Volga se Ganga By Rahul Sankritayan, Madhyakaleen Dharam Sadhna By Hazari Prasad Dwivedi, Delhi By Khushwant Singh, Vayam Rakshamah By Acharya Chatur sen, Kafir By Sayaah Sunami Tamas By Bhesham Sahni.

MAGAZINS : Hans, Iravati, Vartaman Sahitya, Alochna, Lok Ganga, Sanchetna, Sakshatkar (All Hindi) Sanjh(Punjabi).

AUTHORS : Dr.Hazari Prasad Dwevedi, Prem Chand, Sayadat Hasan Manto, Amrita Pritam, Yashpal, Upendra Nath Ashak, Fanishavar Renu, Osho, Shakespeare.

Poets : Tulsi, Kabir, Nirala, Guru Nanak, Guru Gobind Singh, Mahadevi, Agaye, Amrita Pritam, Shiv Kumar Batalvi(Punjabi)

POEM : Jab Naav Jal Main chhod di,

Tofaan main hi mod di,

De di chunauti Sindhu ko,

Phir paar kya majdhar kya?

LIFE LINE : Live Life King Size !

SONG : Tu Kahan Ye bata Es nashili raat mainÂ., Mausam hai Ashikana ah dil kahin seÂ., Tere dar par sanam chaly aaye tu na aaya to humÂ.,

SMELL : Petrol

DISH : Amritsari Kulchy, Dosa, Dal fulka, Puri Chholy,

FAST FOOD : French Fries

SECOND FOOD : Gol Gappa & Tikki

FRIEND : My Love

PAST TIME : Reading, Writing & watching TV

Movie : Chupky-Chupky, Golmaal(old), Padosan, Chashmy Badoor, Bandani, Sahib Bibi aur Gulaam, Pakizah, Jodha-Akbar, Pinjar, Titanic, Man in Black(English),

DRESS : Kurta payjama,

Colours : White, Blue, Yellow,Orange, Sea green.

QUALITY IN OTHERS : Caring, Positive attitude, Good behavior & Dress sense.

QUALITY IN MYSELF : I care

MANTRA : Go go go go go

HEROINE : My Love

DREAM : Write books on Adhyatam

'AA-HA': Yes, I found Her in this janamÂ.!

FANTASY: Chalo Dildar chalo chand ke paar chaloÂ.

FAVOURITE LINES : Tum samaye ki ret par chhodty chalo nishan Dekhati tumeh zameen dekhta hai aasmaanÂ.

LOCATION : Dalhausie, Maansarovar, Gangotri, Rudra Prayag, Shimla, Kinnaur.

CURRENT MOOD : Masti

LAST MUSIC : Santoor vadan By Shiv Kumar sharma

READING : Ek Omkar Satnaam By Osho

COOKING : I can cook

OBSERVATION : I catch the vibrations coming from everyone.

ON MIND : Tere bina bhi kya jeena

I am tagging :

swift swift , anilairen , Abhishek Ghosh , santosh neel , rajeswari tk , Raj Mishra , satya dubey, chetan lakhani , Ranjan Sengupta , ok , chandrakant parmar

]]>Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:00:34 +0530http://Brahamasmi.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/07/01/I-Have-Tagged-u.htmlSwami Vivekanand

When I Asked God for Strength


He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face



When I Asked God for Brain & Brown


He Gave Me Puzzles in life to Solve



When I Asked God for Happiness


He Showed Me Some Unhappy People



When I Asked God for Wealth


He Showed Me How to Work Hard



When I Asked God for Favors


He Showed Me opportunities to Work Hard



When I Asked God for Peace


He Showed Me How to Help Others



God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted


He Gave Me Everything I Needed


- Swami Vivekananda

]]>Sat, 28 Jun 2008 01:21:06 +0530http://Brahamasmi.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/06/28/Swami-Vivekanand.htmlROMANCE MATHEMATICSROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION T! ECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

]]>Sun, 15 Jun 2008 01:39:22 +0530http://Brahamasmi.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/06/15/ROMANCE-MATHEMATICS.htmlSatya Kuch Es tarah

t+Uur feyrh gksxh

’kqHk deks± ds fy,

lksiku gksaxs

lk/kuk dk flyk

dqN ugha gw¡ eSa

rsjh eksgCcr ds flok

rqe vkvksxs----------\

esjh t+Uur dk

lksiku cu dj------

esjh lk/kuk dk

fuokZu cu dj-----

vkSj

esjh eksgCcr dk

dkUg cu dj------\

[

eq>s jax fn;k gS

mlus

eSa Hkhrj ckgj

yky gw¡

eSaus jax fn;k gS

mldks

oks igys ls gh

yky gS

bd mldk gS

bd esjk gS

ij yky yky

cl yky gS!

[

eqf’kZn dgrs gSa

yksx mls

xqjos ue%

iqdkjrs gSa

eSa dgwa rks

D;k dgwa

esjk [kqnk jkg

Okgh gS!

[

b’d gdhdh

ogh gS

esjk eak>h Hkh

ogh gS

xgjs iSB ns[kk gS

oks ogh gS

cl ogh gS!

[

bd uUgk uqDrk

rqe gks

bd uUgk uqDrk

eSa gw¡

bd uUgk uqDrk

lalkj gS

;g uqDrk gh

vikj gS

blh uqDrs dk lkjk

Hkze gS

;gh uqDrk gh rks

czã gS !

[

’kCnksa ds vFkZ

gtkjksa gSa

O;FkZ rdZ

gtkjksa gSa

lR; lqUnj

f’ko Lo:i gS

u ikl gS

u nwj gS

cl

vuwi gS

vuwi gS!

[[[

]]>Fri, 13 Jun 2008 00:43:18 +0530http://Brahamasmi.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/06/13/Satya-Kuch-Es-tarah-1.htmlAao Khalil Jibran Padhein

vkRe Kku

,d vkneh us [kyhy ftczku ls iwNk fd vkRe Kku D;k gS----] rks mlus dgk& rqEgkjs ân; dk ekSu rqEgkjs fnuksa vkSj jkrksa dk Kkrk gS------ fdUrq rqEgkjs dku rqEgkjs ân; ds bl Kku dh vkokt+ dks lquus ds fy, I;kls jgrs gSa----tks dqN rqeus ges’kk ls vius fopkjksa esa tkuk gS rqe ’kCnksa esa Hkh tkuuk pkgrs gks--- rqe vius liuksa dh uXu dk;k dks viuh maxfy;ksa ls Nw ysuk pkgrs gks--------A vkSj vPNk gksxk fd rqe ,slk djks---rqEgkjh vkRek dk vkn’kZ ty lkzsr tkx iM+s vkSj dy&dy dh /ofu djrk gqvk leUnj dh vkSj cg pys--------vkSj rqEgkjh xgjkbZ;ksa esa fNik [kt+kuk vka[kksa ds lkeus izdV gks tk,------ fdUrq bu vUtku [kt+kus dks rksyus ds fy, dksbZ rjkt+q ugha gksuk pkfg,------u Kku dh xgjkbZ;ksa dks vkadus ds fy, dksbZ ekin.M-----

D;ksafd vkRek rRo ,d leqUnj gS--------- vlhe vkSj vxk/k-------

Tkkuuk gS-------- rks vkvks [kqn Hkhrj xksrk yxk,a----------

---From The Prophet....Khaleel



]]>Tue, 10 Jun 2008 22:00:09 +0530http://Brahamasmi.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/06/10/Aao-Khalil-Jibran-Padhein-1.htmlWhy Bill Gates..........???Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?

Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find 'button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,
Banta

Last one to Mr. Bill Gates: Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?]]>Tue, 27 May 2008 23:39:17 +0530http://Brahamasmi.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/05/27/Why-Bill-Gates.htmlThoughts to think about…..

Thoughts to think about…..

Don't compare yourself with anyone in this world. If you do so, you are insulting yourself

You are not responsible for what people think about you but you are responsible for what you give them to think about you.

Write your sad times in Sand

Write your Good times in

Stone

Behind every successful man, there is an untold pain in his heart

Without your involvement you can't succeed. With your involvement you can't fail.

Love your job but don't love your Company because you may not know when your company stops loving you

You may get DELAYED to reach your Targets,
But every step you take towards your target is EQUAL to Victory.

It's better to loose your Ego to the one you Love, than to loose the one you LOVE because of EGO.

Don't make promises when you are in JOY. Don't reply when you are SAD.
Don't take decisions when you are ANGRY. Think twice, Act wise. BE happy

When you start caring about yourself, you start loving somebody,
But when you start caring about others somebody will start loving you

What is the Secret of SUCCESS...? 'RIGHT DECISIONS'
How do you make Right Decisions...? 'EXPERIENCE'
How do you get Experience...? 'WRONG DECISIONS'……
]]>Sat, 24 May 2008 01:18:29 +0530http://Brahamasmi.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/05/24/Thoughts-to-think-about.htmlDivorce.......Spare the rod and spoil the divorce

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!!!

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house was worth, but only if she signed the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

]]>Sat, 24 May 2008 01:11:30 +0530http://Brahamasmi.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/05/24/Divorce.html